The Excellent History of Madame Regina

Chapter 18

Simple Pleasures

During the daylight hours, Tiny Dinko stays in his small room at the St. Elmo rooming house in the heart of Stanktown. In the evenings, he’s at Rigger’s Nightclub where he works as the bouncer.

He usually has the small radio in his room turned on so he can listen to the people speak English. Whenever the announcer says something he picks up on, he repeats it.

The announcer might say something like; “It’s going to be a beautiful day today!” Tiny Dinko will then say: “Ees go-ink to be b-yoo-tee-fool deh to-deh.”

“Sunny and warm with a high of 82!”

“Soh-nee ent vohrm weet eh hi-yeh ov eh-deh doo!”

“Tomorrow we might get a little rain folks!”

“To-mah-woe ve my geh leetul renvokes!”

“We’ll be back with sports after this commercial message!”

“Veal be beck wiss ports effteh dees mersho mesh-sheh.”

It was Miss Butchi who suggested to him that he listen to the radio if he wanted to learn how to speak English. “Just listen to how they talk Dinko,” she told him, “and then repeat everything they say.”

Tiny Dinko always enjoyed the times he got to spend with Miss Butchi. Before her boyfriend Joe Stanley Mike got out of jail, he would walk her home from Rigger’s each night. Since closing time at Rigger’s was 2:00 am, Louie Buonangeli had Dinko take Miss Butchi right to her door. He wanted to make sure she got home safely. Since Tiny Dinko was 6’ 7” and nearly 400 pounds, Louie knew no one, not even the 99th Street Dominoes, would ever try to mess with him!

During the times he was escorting her to her apartment each night, they would try to carry on a conversation as best as they could.  Because she grew up in Stanktown Butchi did know a few words in Dinko’s native language. And with his limited knowledge of English they would have fun trying to cobble together a reasonable conversation each night. At first however, he was afraid to speak to her. He was embarrassed by his poor command of the English language and thought she would laugh at him every time he said something. It didn’t take long for him to realize that Miss Butchi was not the kind of person who would subject anyone to ridicule. After a while, he was very comfortable speaking to her. If, at times, he felt he didn’t properly convey his thoughts to her, he would perform a little charade, right on the streets of Stanktown in the middle of the night, to make sure she understood what he said. For Miss Butchi, she was touched that someone so fierce looking would be so kind and respectful to her. She developed a special fondness for this giant of a man. When Dinko was completely at ease with his friendship with Miss Butchi, he allowed her to see something he never showed to anyone.

“My goodness Dinko!” She said when he showed her some of his drawings, “These pictures you made are quite amazing --you are really talented!”

While he didn’t quite understand everything she said, the tone of her voice and her smile was all the validation he needed. He didn’t know what to say after that. So instead, with his face reddened, he merely bowed to her.

Our Town

“I love this drawing you made of Stanktown!” She said as she studied the image, “It’s so expressionistic and precise –it’s like Hogarth!” The years Butchi spent reading Acker’s vast collection of books gave her an insight into Art and History few people in Stanktown had.

Miss Butchi was the only friend Tiny Dinko had. Louie Buonangeli treated him well but Dinko understood he was the boss and it wouldn’t be right, in his mind, to have him as a friend. Johnnie Buonangeli was nice to him too, but sometimes he would tell him jokes he didn’t understand. Lido Buonangeli would slap him on the back and tell him, “Dinko, one day you and me are gonna make a lot of money together – you just wait and see!” Dinko would smile whenever he said that. He could never understand what Lido said since he always talked too fast.

When Joe Stanley Mike got out of jail, he would come over to the club each night and drive Butchi home. When this happened, Dinko really started to miss the moments he would spend with her each night. Sometimes, during their walks together, she would teach him some English. She would say, “Now repeat after me Dinko –Please.” 

“Pliz,” he would say.

“Thank you!”

“Denk gue!”

“Now you see Dinko, those two words will get you a lot in life!” She told him, “And don’t be afraid to use those words either. I mean, my goodness, the way some people never say those words it’s like they’re afraid they’ll have to pay money whenever they say it!”

 Now those days with Miss Butchi are over and Dinko is feeling very lonely. He misses his mother who is still back in the old country. He sends her money every month and hopes that; maybe, she might want to come here. He also has to give money to Uncle Vlashko. This money is, as Vlashko calls it, a carrying charge. Vlashko likes to tell everyone that when the family was leaving the old country to come to America, Dinko just showed up and wanted to come along. Vlashko said that Dinko was so big everyone was afraid to say no to him. In truth Vlashko charged him for the privilege of coming with the family to America. He levied the upfront charge and stipulated that a monthly payment must be made to him, Vlashko, in perpetuity! This leaves Dinko with barely enough money for rent and food each month. On the rare occasion, when he does have a few extra dollars left over, he will use it to buy paper and pencils. This allows him to spend his days talking along with the radio while drawing pictures.

Blood and Water

Without knocking, Lido Buonangeli enters his brother Louie’s closed-door office at Rigger’s Nightclub.

“Hey Louie,” Lido says with his usual staccato delivery, “Do ya’ got a minute? I gotta talk to you about something big –really big! I think you’re gonna like this a lot. Just give me a minute and you’re gonna be bouncing off the ceiling when I tell you this!”

Louie, puffing on his cigar and without looking up from his paperwork, says, “Oh yeah? Whatta ya’ got on yer mind ugly!”

Lido spins the wood chair in front of Louie’s desk around and sits on it backwards with his arms resting on top of the backrest.

“Tiny Dinko is a really big guy!” Lido says, his eyes wide with excitement.

Louie looks up from his paperwork and takes the cigar out of his mouth. He shoots a sharp look at Lido and says, “Why you telling me dat? Ya’ tink I don’t know dat already? Whaddaya tink I’m blind!”

“Louie I didn’t say you wuz blind Louie!” Lido says in response and matching his brother with an equally sharp look in return. “What I’m saying is that Dinko is a really big guy and I think we can make some money because of it!” Lido stands up and assumes a stance as if he’s about to pounce on Louie.

“Now think about this…we put Dinko in the ring! Huh? Whadda think about that?”

“In de’ ring?” Louie says, “What ring?”

“In a wrestling ring ya’ goof!” Lido says, throwing his arms up in frustration. “Ya’ see, cuz Dinko is the biggest guy I ever saw in my life, I don’t think anyone can ever beat him!”

Louie takes a puff from his cigar and looks upward for a second. Then he says to Lido, “Hey, dat might not be a bad idea.” He puffs his cigar again. “But tell me dis’ –does Dinko know anything about wrestling?”

Lido shakes his head and quickly looks around the floor in Louie’s office. “Where’s that rock? Where is that rock? Oh ro-ock…rock! Come out come out wherever you are!” Lido says while moving around Louie’s office stooped over looking for the rock.

“Ah whaddaya’….whaddaya doin’ –huh?” Louie says with some annoyance at his brother’s antics.

“I’m lookin’ for that rock you just crawled out from under!” Lido hollers, “What the hell do you mean ‘does Dinko know anything about wrestling’? He doesn’t have to know anything about wrestling! He only has to know how to be real big! And I can tell you right now Louie, Dinko knows a hell of a lot more about being big than you an me’ll ever know!” 

Louie breaks out in a broad smile and points to Lido’s head. “Good to see yer using dat ugly ting on top of yer neck for more den just a moustache holder!”

Brushing off Louie’s backhand compliment, Lido asks, “So what do you think, huh? It’s a good idea isn’t it? Only I don’t see you bouncing off the ceiling yet!”

“Ah take it easy will ya’ –I tink it’s a good idea! I tink it’s a real good idea Lido.”

Louie sits back in his chair and rests his feet on top of the desk. “So whadda we gonna call him?” Louie says, “All wrestlers gotta have a name ya’ know. Should we call him Tiny Dinko, or maybe Gorgeous Dinko, or…”

“Nah-nah-nah!” Lido says waving off his brother’s suggestions. He raises his hands as if he’s framing a theater marquee and says, “DINKO THE BEAR!”

“Dinko the bear?” Louie says.

“Dinko the bear!” Lido says.

“Dinko the bear?” Louie says.

“Yeah, Dinko the bear!” Lido says. “Orphaned as an infant –raised by wild bears in the mountains of Carpathia! Dinko the bear!”

“Dinko the bear?” Louie says. “And where de’ hell is Carpathia?”

“Carpathia? Oh that’s out by…over there!” Lido says gesturing to an imaginary point outside Louie’s office window. “See, and we can do this Louie –we can go to a taxidermist and get a big, black bear’s head and have Dinko wear it whenever he goes into the ring!”

Louie nods in agreement. “Dinko the bear!”

Yeah!” Lido says enthusiastically, “DINKO THE BEAR!”

 

 

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